Sure, What Size?

        Since last week’s blog was depressing and borderline pathetic, this week’s blog shall be humorous and light hearted because frankly I cannot take anymore sadness. I work at Starbucks Coffee Company. I have made thousands of lattes, mochas and the most beloved of all drinks, Frappuccinos for over three years now. 

        Within my tenure I have encountered many different types of customers. I would say “people” but I believe when one walks through the doors of Starbucks they are transformed into needy, parsimonious, and pretentious beings, thus rendering them customers, not people. The most common customer is one who knows exactly how their drink should taste, but does not engage the barista if made incorrectly. They sip their drink and slowly walk away with a confused expression until the barista asks if there is a problem. The customer almost always refuses to have their drink corrected and the barista usually has to beg for another try. This passive-aggressive behavior is traditionally unacceptable in society but at Starbucks passive aggression is expected and encouraged. Another common customer is one who believes they can craft their drink better than the trained professional. Those customers are the ones who feel the need to instruct the barista on how to make a drink that they have made hundreds of times before. Sometimes I want to say: “Yes, I have steamed milk before, but you may attempt to steam your own cappuccino if you would like and I will watch every move you make so you do not ruin a perfectly good pitcher of milk.” It is statements like that that I and every barista dream of saying one day but may never get muster the courage. The most irritating and common question I ask customers is not about the quality of their day or the drink they would like, it is the size cup they want. Ninety percent of customers never bother to say the size before they list off complex and unnecessary orders so I must interrupt and ask, "Sure, what size?” This happens at least thirty times every shift, and is number four on my list of Starbucks pet peeves. Starbucks has done a lot for me: flexible hours, free drinks and the occasional paycheck but I honestly believe that I have done even more for them. Can one put a price on dealing with ridiculous customers, making drinks and minding food safety, all while smiling and engaging in conversation? I think not.




Vocab Words:

Buttress	v., n.	to support. a support
Cadge	v.	to get something by taking advantage of someone